Just Justin

Reflecting on 2011 and Getting Ready for 2012

2011-12-30T19:58:00.000-08:00

Hello friends!

Our first quarter of Servant Partners officially ended a couple weeks ago. As you may have been able to tell from my lack of updates, it has been a very busy season. Nonetheless, I hope you had a fun and relaxing Christmas and I hope you are excited for the new year!

Anyway, for the end of our SP quarter, they made us do an artistic reflection. Our whole group performed a really funny parody of this song that encompassed some of our own experiences while showing off the extent of our Spanish speaking abilities (sans Marco)....

...you're welcome for that, if you've never seen it before.

I also did a personal reflection that I decided I will share. I wanted to use this for my update because in a way it gives a lot more insight than the typical "here's everything that's been awesome" blog post. I wrote this poem vaguely because I feel that poems should have a personal meaning for everyone, but I also wanted to include my own personal interpretation in writing it (not necessary, but there if you'd like to read it). I hope you like it...

We exist outside of time, don't we? (1)
Immortal souls planted here to grow into love. (2)
I have seen them go beyond this earth, yet lose their beauty. (3)
I have seen others, family I never knew, willing to die for me.
Reminding me to always smile. Reminding me that we are one. We are the one. (4)
Oh if I only believed what I knew to be true.(5)
Yet I find myself racing a clock that does not exist. (6)
For Tetris is a game I can play, and play well.
But I really just wish for the pieces to slow down.
Knowing that they never will, until the game is lost. (7)
Are these 8 hours of sacrifice or fear, I may never know. (8)
But for now, I seek the truth from the depths of solitude. (9)
New challenges faced, new insights made, but most of all new friendships cherished.
These are the things that will outlast time. (10)
That will stand with me in the face of death,
And say, "I love you." (11)

(1) The idea of time has been plaguing me over these last few months. I guess a lot of it is all the transitions
       it's taken to get here. I've had a serious chance to ponder about how fast life passes by.
(2) But I realize that there is more to life, so it begs the question of why are we here?
(3) I am awed all the time by the amazing things that humanity has been able to accomplish. I have seen
       things that would put the Tower of Babel to shame while their makers are miserable and have lost sight
       of what it means to be a person.
(4) This is a direct reference to the friends we made in Botocan in the Philippines. It didn't matter that we
       lived across the world from one another; when we were there we were family. One of the youth in
       Botocan told me before we left that if I ever want to remember the Philippines to just look in the mirror
       and smile. Also a reference to the book, 'The Road' and the movie, 'The Matrix', except with a
       collective point of view.
(5) I was talking with my friend about Ecclesiastes one day, and how if we could just realize how
       meaningless everything is and how good God is, we could start to do things because we enjoy them
       instead of for some kind of gain, and we could love people without worrying about what we will have to
       sacrifice, and we could write sentences without stressing out about bad grammar or run-ons. She
       responded that I must be pretty stress free. Well, sometimes I guess, but I have trouble truly believing
       the things that God has shown me over and over again.
(6) I think my fear of time comes from feeling like I always need to be accomplishing something to live a
       meaningful life. Even here, people ask me all the time what I have been doing?...or how have I helped
       the neighborhood?...Honest answer, I haven't really done anything yet to help the neighborhood. Partly
       because things like that take time, and partly because that is not really the reason I'm here. Yes, I would
       like to share the blessings that God has given me in a place where material blessing is scarce; but I think
       I'm here more to learn that I don't need to build the Tower of Babel to be happy, and to receive the
       spiritual blessings shared by the people here.
(7) This is my attempt at post-modern art. It's also the first thing I thought of to describe the last few
       months. This first quarter has really been about getting us settled in San Jose. For me, it's felt like all
       the pieces have been falling together perfectly...fundraising, my job, building community, housing, etc. I
       mean there have been hiccups and some things are still getting worked out, but point being I still feel like
       life is moving too fast and none of this stuff will matter if I don't stop treating it like a game and take
       some time to go outside and get some fresh air.
(8) Work has been one of the hardest things for me. I have a job that I enjoy for the most part and where I
       am getting great experience in what I majored in. It is also allowing me to pay the bills and pay off
       student loans. I truly am blessed to have this job and I couldn't be more thankful. However, it takes up
       so much of my time. It makes it difficult to build relationships in the neighborhood, and when I look
       back at my life, I don't want to have spent it all learning computers for the sake of making a living. I'd
       like to think that I am doing it in order to make Servant Partners possible financially; or so I can gain
       skills that I can contribute to a non-profit or something in the future. But every now and then I wonder
       if I'm just doing it because I am afraid to have no money and don't trust God to provide.
(9) A reference to one of my favorite poems. The poem contains the idea of living two lives ("a young heart
       with an old soul"). I often feel a similar dichotomy. Half of my life has been lived as an underdog
       looked down upon by society, and the other half has been privileged and praised by society. And now
       I find myself in a poor area of a wealthy city, trying to figure out how to reconcile the two and what God
       has in store here.
(10) Outside of all these ideas are real struggles. One of my friends has had a really hard time
        acknowledging the goodness of God, and justifiably considering all the suffering that exists in this
        world. One area in particular is with gender and sexuality and the way our culture has formed it and
        persecutes anything different. I went to a drag show with her because I realize that I am part of the
        forming culture...and I also thought it would be fun, which it was. But I haven't told anyone til now that
        I went, partly because it's just not something that's come up, but also because I've been afraid. This is
        the kind of place that I imagine people looked at Jesus and said, "do you know who you're hanging out
        with?" and I've tried to steer clear of that kind of judgement. But these kinds of struggles and failures
        are what have helped me grow as a person, and in the end that is what is really important. Well that
        and the people in our lives as we do :)
(11) There exists a theory that we sin because we are afraid of death. If this is true, then it stands to reason
        with me that one of our main purposes on this earth is to grow to the point that we can be faced with
        death (whether in the form of pain, loneliness, insignificance, insecurity, or facing the unknown) and love
        without fear. For this is what Jesus did for us on the cross.

New Address!

2011-11-14T22:29:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to let you all know that Marco and I have finally moved into a new apartment. It is right in the heart of the neighborhood that we're in and also right next to the girls' house. We feel very lucky and blessed to be here, so thank you to everyone who has been praying for us. We just moved in last week and are still getting everything furnished and put together. We have already received several donations from people at the church, so we are very thankful for that. We have also began walking around and meeting some of our neighbors. Everyone so far has been very friendly. I definitely need to learn Spanish though, as this is a largely Hispanic neighborhood. But we are looking forward to building stronger relationships here and becoming more apart of this community.

Anyway, here is our new address in case you wanted to send us cookies or something (no pressure, of course):
752 Vine St. Apt. 5
San Jose, CA 95110

Also, here is a good website with statistics of our neighborhood in case any of you were interested:
http://www.city-data.com/neighborhood/Washington-San-Jose-CA.html

Other than that, here is a short update: Half of us are working full time now. Marco has been able to extend his Visa doing some odd jobs and tutoring, but he is still looking for a steady job. Those still looking for jobs have been able to do some cool volunteer work. Right now, we are about a third way into our study of Luke, and we are also reading and learning about the Sabbath. Prayer requests: Jobs for the rest of the team, opportunities for involvement within the community, and growth of community within the interns. I will fill in more details later. For now, I hope you are all doing well. I really miss and love you guys!

Funny Stories from Botocan

2011-10-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, so in the intro to this blog I mentioned that it would hopefully be fun. So if you're not sick of hearing about our trip to the Philippines yet, I am going to leave one more post. This one is simply going to be polluted with pictures, video, and funny stories in no particular order. Enjoy =)

So this was a very intense trip. We heard several gunshots everyday and survived a multiple typhoons. Okay, so we were on police property and there was a shooting range right by us. And we weren't in the heart of the typhoons so it wasn't that bad. But the trip sounds really intense if I leave out those semi-important details. The typhoons were actually pretty crazy. There was a lot of rain and wind. But it was never too scary.

One day we were having a Bible study. It was Chelsea's birthday, so at the end of study, Ate Ema brought out a cake that they had baked for her. The Bible study instantly turned into a spontaneous birthday party in the church. We played games, sang songs, danced, and had a great time of celebration. One of those songs included 'Teach Me How To Dougie'. Kayla knows the entire song, and the youth thought that was awesome and made her sing it.

Zach, Aaron and Ema's 3-year old son, was hilarious. He was loud and full of energy. One day as we were having a book discussion in the church, Aaron pointed behind us and yelled, "AYY ZACH!!" Behind us, Zach had climbed onto a chair and pulled his pants down to get attention. Aaron yelled again, "Zach, pull up your pants!" To which Zach's response was to begin taking off his shirt.
Another time, we went to eat at a Pizza Hut at the mall. In Manila, Pizza Hut is a fancy, sit down restaurant. As we were finishing up, Zach was running all around going back and forth under the tables. At one point, he looked up at Erika and squeakishly said, "I'm gonna surprise youuuu!" She shrugged him off as she expected him to try and jump out and scare her or something like that, but the next thing we knew he jumped out from under the table.....again with his pants down. We all tried not to encourage him by laughing, and we all failed miserably.

One night, the youth were telling us pick-up lines per usual. This was hilarious because they would tell them in Tagalog, laugh hysterically amongst each other, and then do their best to translate them to us. Well not all of them translated so well. One of our friends there, Jio, tried to say a pick-up line to one of the girls. It went something like this:

Jio: Are you contacts?

Us: No, why?

Jio: Because, umm, I want to steal your eyes.

Us: Jio, I don't think that one works.

Jio: No, I think I mean because I want to borrow your eyes.

Us: Umm, I'm pretty sure that doesn't work either.

One of the activities we got to do with the youth was karate. We had a lot of fun doing this, but it sure was hard. Just the stretching was super painful, and then they made us do so many push ups and sit ups it was stupid. But we all survived somehow and got in shape and learned a few moves. On one of the days they were practicing sparring. I was having a great time watching people fighting and wrestling. Then all of a sudden the leader of the group called me and the freakin' biggest guy there to fight full contact next. Luckily, he took it pretty easy on me, but I still had some good bruises the next day.

Ate Cora is the other Servant Partners staff in Manila. She is a straight up boss. There is a bit of a pest problem in the slums. Some of the girls slept with the light on so that the roaches wouldn't crawl on them at night. Ate Cora, however, had no fear. She was a roach killing machine. There were even rumors of her just smashing them barehand. And these were HUGE roaches. Despite her being so tough, she was one of the sweetest and most joyful ladies I have ever met. She took a 40 min car ride and 20 min walk up a hill to come visit us. One day we got to go visit her house. While we were there, I took a short nap after lunch, and she tried to give me a manicure while I was sleeping. Naturally I woke up, and she made me get one anyway. I had the shiniest toenails in Manila that day. After that, she took us around her village and had us pack 6 of us onto a tiny motorcycle with a sidecar (they call them tricycles); I'm sure it was quite the sight to see a bunch of Americans crammed into one of these things.

Karaoke is very popular in the Philippines, at least where we were. One of the families that some of the girls stayed with had a karaoke machine with pretty much every song ever made. We went over there one day and ended up singing on that thing for a couple hours. The funny part was that the girls who were staying there had already been singing on it for a couple hours before we even got there. We were definitely karaokeed out that day. And just a side note: I don't really know why, but Filipinos love John Denver for some reason. I mean he's good and all, it just seems random to me.

At the end of our trip, the youth decided to throw us a big going away party. They made us a ton of food that they set out on giant leaves that they use for plates when there is a feast. After the meal, they made us all sit down. They then proceeded to each say their goodbyes. In between each person they would sing us the chorus of this song: Click Here. They must of sang it at least 10 times. It was one of the funniest and most touching gestures I've ever seen. A perfect end to a great trip.

The Why Behind the What

2011-10-18T00:06:00.000-07:00

     Much of what I learned in Manila came from Kuya Aaron's book, which I mentioned in the last post. His book is written about sustainability for those who are new in incarnational ministry. It was a truly amazing experience to be able to live out the lessons and events in his book while reading it. Let me give a short introduction.

     Aaron defines incarnational ministry as living in a meaningful way in a specific place. He has been living intentionally in the slums of Manila for the last 10 years. He has the skill set and means to live in a 'nicer', middle class area, but he feels that he has a strong calling and heart for ministry in the slums. His book stresses the points that incarnational ministry can be done anywhere (not just urban slums) and anyone can do incarnational ministry. However, incarnational ministry is a difficult path, especially in urban slums, and many will face burnout. It got me thinking a lot about what it looks like to do this kind of ministry long term as well as my motives for wanting to do it.

     One misconception that Aaron talks about is that, in incarnational ministry, we might get the idea that we become saviors to the broken slums from the heaven that is the suburbs. In reality, the whole earth is broken, and the best we can do is live meaningfully within it. So how do we decide where to live?

     Where we live is one of the most significant factors as to how we spend our lives and who we interact with. For some of us, there is a choice where we live. For others, it is something we are born into and have little control. I cannot begin to even pretend to know all the reasons to live in a particular place or know why people live where they do. All I can do is share my own story and begin to weigh motives.

     I do get to decide where I live. I have enough privilege to be able to live almost anywhere in the world that I choose. I have spent time in very wealthy places, and now I have spent time in very poor places. I believe that it is very possible to live meaningfully in either. However, I also feel that society has created a problem that must be addressed. The Bible constantly warns us to not ignore the poor. To take care of the needy, both spiritually and physically. Living in wealthy areas, I may not intentionally ignore the poor. I can be the sort of person who would stop to help them when I saw them in need. But whether intentional or not, society has created barriers between the rich and the poor. There are dividing lines in the shape of walls, bridges, property lines, social gatherings, roads, etc. Society has so arranged itself that we are able to ignore the poor before we ever even see them. In fact I think one of the draws for many in living in a wealthy neighborhood is specifically to ignore the needy. I think that would be one of my motives for living in a wealthy area. It is difficult for me to welcome the inconvenience of those in need. It takes a willingness to sacrifice my own comfort and a peace of mind that God is with me. There begins my own leap of faith into urban poverty. It is personal in terms of calling, but universal in seeking the right motives.

      And I am not saying here that I have all the right motives, but trying to stress the importance I've learned of recognizing my motives and acting on the best of them. Another large reason for burnout in incarnational ministry which Aaron discussed is to fail to count the costs of it. Many have entered into ministry out of the excitement or even the comfort of it (to be honest, I feel much more comfortable around the urban poor than working 9-5 in a desk job). When all this wears off or changes and things become difficult, we find ourselves empty of what it was that we were seeking. One of the largest problems for me is distinguishing God from ulterior motives. What I am doing may seem good at the time and lead me to seemingly good places, but again, if it is not God that I am seeking, then I will surely come up empty.

     Botocan taught me a lot about the importance of discerning these motives. I have never felt more burnt out than in the three short weeks that I spent there. It took constant reminders that God's love is enough in order for me to not be constantly focused on all the discomforts of the slums. When God's love ceased to be the reason I was there, I was unable to cope with difficulties of it all. But blessed are the poor who not only have been forced to cope with the difficulties, but have taught me that there is great joy that exists in the midst of them.

      I learned tons more. But these are some of the major lessons I will leave you with that have been plaguing my mind since returning from Botocan. In a sense, we are all in the business of incarnational ministry. I share these lessons from Botocan in the hope that they can give at least a portion of the meaning that they have provided to my own life.

Back from the Philippines

2011-10-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

Kumusta mga kaibigan (Hello/How are you friends!),

     The team and I arrived back to the States just last night. I am a bit jet lagged as it is about 4am in Manila right now. But anyhow, I sent my last update at the beginning of our trip with some of the things that we were doing. This update will elaborate a little as well as fill you in on some of my reflections. But keep in mind that I am still processing a lot, so I apologize in advance if this seems scattered or incomplete.

      So over the 3 weeks, we were living in a squatter community in Botocan, a part of Metro Manila. The community is on the property owned by the police department there (which is what qualifies it as a squatter community. This also means that it can be demolished at any time, so there is a disincentive to investing in the community and housing). The Servant Partners staff that hosted us was the Smith family: Kuya Aaron, Ate Ema, and their 3-year old son Zach (kuya and ate are prefixes used as terms of respect. They are also translated as brother and sister). The Smiths have been living in Manila for 10 years, and in Botocan they have started a church: Botocan Bible Christian Fellowship (BBCF). Most of our time and activity was spent here.

     BBCF was located right above the Smith's house. I stayed in a room right above BBCF. The girls split up and stayed with a couple different family's nearby. BBCF is comprised mostly of youth around the ages of 15-22. Many of these youth are the leaders in the church. There are also a few adults as well as children, but the youth are at the heart of this ministry. Over the last few weeks we learned a lot from them and grew very close.

      I think the easiest way for me to help you get a feel for what Botocan and BBCF are like is to run through a typical day for us there. I think I will do this in schedule form (although this may be somewhat ironic since one of our major "lessons" we learned was about 'Filipino time'. The youth in the church informed us that with 'Filipino time' schedules are followed very loosely. For example, a scheduled one-hour meeting may comprise of being 20 mins late, talking about how everyone is doing for 45 mins, telling jokes for 20 mins, being productive for 10 mins, then talking about the rest of the day for another 30 mins, and if there is food involved this all gets multiplied). But I regress.

7:00am - Wake up, shower (fill a bucket with cold water and dump it on your head)
8:00am - Breakfast. Every morning, we would eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Filipino bread (kind of like sweet dinner rolls) with the Smith family in the church.
9:00am - Morning devotion. This was a short way to recognize God each day. We read a psalm, prayed praises, read a passage of the Sermon on the Mount, and prayed requests.
9:30am-Noon - Various activities. Sometimes we explored the community. We would get local sweet bread. We would walk the streets and see the different neighborhoods of the community. Other times we just hung out in the church and played guitar. We also spent time reading and having discussions about a book that Kuya Aaron is writing for his seminary on the sustainability of urban poor incarnational ministry. I will talk more about this later.
Noon - Lunch. Either a meal in the church with the Smiths or a homestay meal with a family in the community.
1pm - 5pm - More various activities.
5pm - Dinner. Same as lunch. These meals always had rice. We got to try a lot of really good Filipino food. Often times we would sit on the floor and eat with our hands, either as a cultural aspect or out of a lack of means.
6pm -10pm - Somewhat more structured various activities. On many days we would attend Bible studies or prayer nights at the church. We even got to lead one of them. We would typically go down to the basketball court that was in the middle of the community. This was the main hangout spot for the youth as well as adults. There was always something going on and people everywhere (except when it was raining heavily). Sometimes, we would play basketball. Other times we would just watch and talk with the people there. We got to hear stories as well as jokes. One of the fads at the time was to tell pick up lines (Did you just fart? Because you blew me away). We also played a lot of games, such as the clapping games that you played in elementary school.
10pm - Go to bed. This may have been the most difficult part of the day for me. Partly because it was so early since we were trying to set a good example for the youth who all had school. But mostly because it was so hot and humid. I would just lay there on a thin mat with a fan pointed at me trying not to sweat.

     And that is what most of our days in Manila looked like. If it seems a bit vague and unorganized to you, then yeah... All I can say is that we learned A LOT about doing ministry among the urban poor, and probably not quite as much about productivity. This ministry is focused on community. It is about meeting Jesus everywhere you go. We learned how to serve and be served.

     I was going to add reflections of what I learned to this post as well, but I think it has dragged on long enough, so I will split it up into another post. If you are still here, then thanks for reading and feel free to leave comments or questions about any of the more specifics. I hope this gave you a good feel for what this trip was like.

Shalom!

Thrilla in Manila

2011-09-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

The team and I are all here in Manila safely. Well sadly, Marco was not able to find a job in time, so he is still in San Jose looking. He had a few interviews last week, so he might fly out next week if he can lock one of them down.

Well, we have been here for about 2 days now. It has already been very exciting and a very humbling experience. I have never been anywhere quite like this. The community that we are staying in is extremely dense, full of seemingly homemade wood and concrete high rises. I will post pictures later.

Everyone in the community has been very friendly. Most people speak at least a little English, but I have been trying to pick up some Tagalog as well. I have thank you (salamat) and delicious (masarap) down...those are the really important ones :)

I feel like a celebrity here. All the kids love us and yell our names everywhere we go. (Well particularly mine, because I am the only guy on the team and they think it's hilarious to call me Justin Bieber. American culture is everywhere, from music to NBA basketball to Spongebob Square Pants.).

So far, our time here has consisted of hanging out, church on Sunday, and home stays. Home stays are just where a host family will have us over for lunch and dinner a few times a week. Our family is really hospitable. Last night, we had about 12 people packed into maybe 10 sq ft, sitting on the floor eating a home-cooked meal. It was 'masarap'. I also got to play some basketball which was a lot of fun, and will probably get to attend karate classes with the kids later so I am looking forward to that.

We probably won't be doing too much else, as this is just a time for us to be here and learn. I have already learned a lot and can tell that I will learn much much more. I will make sure to share later. For now, I must go. I am in an internet cafe with only 4 minutes to go.

But I hope you're all having a wonderful Sunday evening.

From the future (about 10:10am on Monday morning),
Justin

The foundation of the next two years...

2011-09-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone! I am proud to present the first official picture of the San Jose Servant Partners team. They are all amazing, so let me introduce you. From left to right, we have Chelsea, Heather, Andy and Janet (our lovely staff), myself, Erika, Kayla, and Marco.

It has been a lot of fun getting to know the team over the past few weeks and especially during orientation. Let me share some of the highlights.

Luke study. During the internship, we will be doing an in depth, manuscript study of Luke. We spent much of orientation getting started with this. We also talked about the theme of building throughout the Bible. It was really challenging but good to reflect on the questions of what foundation we're building our lives upon (Matthew 7:24), what materials we're building our ministry with (1 Corinthians 3:10), and who it is that we are building for (Genesis 11). The point is that we are all building with our lives, and it is important to build with things that are lasting. In Luke, Jesus is faced with temptations in the wilderness to rely on weak foundations instead of the Word of God. I realized how easy it is to fall into these same temptations, especially with the ambition of doing ministry.

The River. Our staff is already associated with The River Church here in San Jose. This has been a huge blessing as people here are already praying for us and reaching out in very loving ways. We have been encouraged, cooked for, given furniture and cookware for our houses, and been incredibly welcomed.

Luke 14 Party. Once a month, The River has a bbq or party in the park, and invites pretty much everyone. It is based on Jesus' words to invite to your parties those whom others won't and those who can't invite you back. We got to attend this last week, and it was simple but a very good time and a blessing to those in our community.

Oakland Pride. On Sunday, we had a Sabbath day to rest and have some free time. We were in Oakland and Berkeley for the day, so a few of us went to the Oakland Pride Festival. It was an interesting experience to say the least, but I really enjoyed it and grew a greater understanding of God's love. One of the interns has a huge heart for the injustices and discrimination facing the LGBT community. I had the chance to talk with her about how there are many people in church who are really dropping the ball with this issue by treating it as an issue and failing to see the individuals that God created. I definitely find myself guilty of this all the time.

Well there was much more that happened as well, but I will stop here for now. Currently, everything is a bit of a blur anyway as we have been going non-stop for the past few weeks, and we leave for Manila in less than a week. But I hope this finds you in good spirits. I will update you all again when I get back to he States.

Peace,
Justin

Already in the works.

2011-08-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

     I also want to fill you in on some cool things that God is already doing, as well as some things that we still need prayer for. I am almost completely funded, thanks to all of your generous support. And not only that, but I drove up to San Jose on Monday and went straight to a job interview with Hunter Laboratories, a medical reference lab. Well, I already got a job offer. The job seems perfect as it is close to the neighborhood, I can get some good experience in Information Technology (my major at Cal Poly), it will not require me to work nights and weekends or take work home (because that is time that I have dedicated to doing service with Servant Partners), and they are ok with me leaving the country for 3 weeks to go to Manila. However, my roommate, Marco is still in need of a job. He is from Guatemala and here on a student visa. Now that he is no longer a student, he needs an engineering related job or internship to get his visa extended. It would be awesome if you could be praying for him to find something, and also for the girls who are looking for jobs as well.
     It was also an answer to prayer for the girls to find a good 2-bedroom house in the neighborhood. Last night, we had our first dinner together with all the interns, and we are happy that everyone made it here safely. Right now, Marco and I are staying with 2 other guys from the church here who are letting us crash at their place until we find an apartment. It is a blessing to be here, but we can definitely use prayer that we end up in a good location as well.
     But so far, everything seems to be working out great. We have already been experiencing God provide for us and move in the neighborhood. So those are some of the logistics. Hopefully it wasn't too boring to read. But I am very excited about everything and really appreciate all your prayers.

Til next time, God Bless,
Justin

Servant Partners

2011-08-25T13:29:00.000-07:00

This journey with Jesus has led me to a program called Servant Partners. For anyone who does not know, Servant Partners is a non-profit organization that sends, equips, and trains those who want to share their lives with the urban poor and see urban slums transformed. I have committed the next two years to doing a domestic internship. I will be in the inner city of San Jose, CA, living and working with the neighbors around me and seeking to build Christian community.
As of now, I am living in San Jose, still looking for an apartment with my roommate, Marco. The 4 girls who are the other San Jose interns are already living in a house in the neighborhood. Orientation begins September 1st, and then we (all the interns) are going to the Philippines to spend 3 weeks in the slums of Manila, getting further training in urban leadership and gaining a global perspective on urban poverty. We are all very excited for the internship to officially start, and I look forward to telling you more as time passes.

Just Justin

2011-06-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

     Over the last few years, I got to study the Gospel of Mark in depth with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. This is just a short story of that experience.

   When we met up in our groups to study the first half of Mark, we played a little 'get to know you' game. It was simple. Just introduce yourself with an adjective that began with the same letter as your name. We had Awesome Allan, Luscious Lani, Super Sarah and more. When it came around to me, I thought I would be funny. Rebelling against this little game, I said, "Hi. I'm Justin. just Justin." Little did I know that would become a defining name in my experience with the Gospel and in life.

     At the end of the first half of Mark, Jesus poses the question to Peter, "Who do you say that I am?" From all we had seen so far in Mark, we were asked to answer the same question. Thinking back on the ways that Jesus cared for people, I had to laugh a little at the irony of my answer. "To me," I said, "Jesus is Just."

     just. A simple word used to strip all meaning from any possible adjective that could be used to describe something. And yet, the same word took on a whole new meaning. It gave me a whole new meaning. Instead of being just Justin, I became Justin the Just. That summer, I got to spend six weeks in the inner city doing ministry. Those six weeks showed me how much God cared for the poor and broken and made me care for them as well. Just like the disciples, I thought I had everything figured out, but I still had to study the second half of the Gospel of Mark.

     Peter had answered Jesus' question with, "You are the Messiah!" It was perfect. I thought that he finally understood. And yet, he and the other disciples continued making mistakes. They were prideful in their ministry. At the end of Mark, Jesus dies for their pride, and it is their pride that causes them to be afraid and leave Jesus to die alone. After realizing that I shared in this same pride, I was heartbroken. It no longer mattered who was going to be the greatest in the Kingdom of God or who would do the greatest things or who was the most Just. When Jesus died, we had lost our power to do anything really. But even more than that, we had lost a friend.

     All I wanted to do after coming to that realization was serve God in any way possible, even if it seemed insignificant. That night, it was simply to clear the dishes at the dinner tables. As I did, I realized that I was no better than anyone else. That even my dreams and goals, as noble as they seemed, were not more important than those of others. Jesus had lived to serve, and even in His death, He thought about us as He asked God for our forgiveness. That night, as I contemplated my existence without Jesus, I once again became Justin. just Justin.

     Through the Gospel of Mark, I found the paradox of being nothing and being everything. I found that I had a purpose in justice, but that I could not fulfill it without giving it up and giving God just me. Luckily, the story doesn't end in death. With Jesus' resurrection, we are able to rise out of being just ourselves. We are able to again be Just in the humblest of ways. And somehow Jesus is able to break a few humble loaves and fishes and feed the masses. He is able to produce justice.

     Perhaps it is no coincidence that the word 'Just' shares its meaning between the ordinary and the divine. Perhaps their meanings are inseparable, going hand in hand. So at this point in time, all I can try to be is Justin. Just Justin.